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The Secrets to Raising a Smarter Child
- By Inderbir Sandhu, Ph.D


Discipline Mistakes Parents Usually Make and How They Can Fix Them - Part I

By Andrew Loh

Discipline is a vital part of a child's daily life. Indiscipline is a negative act, while controlling it is an arduous task. Teaching proper discipline is an important parental task. Parents are bound to commit mistakes while training children for good discipline. As they say, to err is human and to commit blunders is parental habit! There are numerous mistakes that parents usually make and they may need to find the best possible solutions to avoid those mistakes. Here are some of the most common mistakes that parents do while teaching how to remain disciplined.

Mistake #1 - Parents not being self-disciplined

Nothing could be more paradox than parents themselves being non-disciplined! Discipline may include many daily tasks: doing work on time, be punctual, follow schedules, be respectful towards others, behave in a pleasing manner, and converse in a proper manner. Parents should not expect their children to be disciplined if they are not disciplined themselves.

Tips to fix the problem

Just think how you could make a big difference to your children's life if you could impart some of the most important lessons of life. If you are a disciplinarian yourself, you can easily set a standard for your children to follow. Try to develop an action plan that allows you to remain disciplined throughout your life.

Mistake #2 - Not showing respect to their children

After all, your children are humans and they deserve to be treated in a fair and proper manner. In other words, parents should treat them with proper respect and kindness. Giving respect is a two way alley and you should give respect to your children before seeking it in return. Yelling in a loud voice, speaking in a harsh and bitter manner, insulting physically or mentally could be the worst forms of parenting.

Tips to fix the problem

Just take a moment and think how you would react when someone does similar things to you. Just think how you would feel in your heart when someone yells at you. The best solution is to sit down with your children and talk to them in a relaxed and soothing manner to solve all pending problems. Be gentle but stay firm. If your children make some mistakes, tell them about it and say they should not repeat them again.

Mistake #3 - Getting angry and violent

This is perhaps one of the most common mistakes that almost every other parent do to their children. Getting angry and showing it in front of your children is probably the stupidest things that you can do. Anger can kill your children's soul and mind. In fact, it is counterproductive and extremely negative. You can never teach good discipline to your children because showing anger itself is not a disciplined thing!

Tips to fix the problem

The first wise thing to do is to control your anger and violence. Learn meditation and yoga to control your anger. Take courses in anger management! Just control your anger while talking to your children. Be patient enough while talking to your children. Explain them the bad side of anger and do that every day so that you will learn how to control anger yourself.

Mistake #4 - Be negative and pessimistic

Negative nature is anathema to teaching discipline to children. Similarly, being pessimistic is also a stumbling block to teach discipline to children. When children hear a string of “no's”, “can not's” and “do not's” from their parents, they may become negative themselves and lose interest in learning about discipline. Teaching discipline is all about positivism and hints of negativity may spoil the entire show.

Tips to fix the problem

Learn how things can be done in a positive and energetic manner. Shed negativism by looking at the positive perspectives of life. Never ever, think that you cannot do something. When parents are optimistic about their life, it becomes easier to impart similar values to their children. If possible, read books on how to remain positive and optimistic.

It is very critical to ignore the importance of discipline. According to the child psychiatrist Michael Brody, "Discipline has to do with civilizing your child so they can live in society." Children are known to test the patience of their parents with their bad behavior. If parents are weak and when they commit error after errors, they may not be able to train their children for better discipline. Child discipline could act as a magical potion that can help children succeed in their personal and professional life. In nutshell, concerted effort by parents would help children immensely to learn how to lead a disciplined life. Continue to read Discipline Mistakes Parents Usually Make and How They Can Fix Them - Part II.


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