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The Secrets to Raising a Smarter Child
- By Inderbir Sandhu, Ph.D


Discipline Mistakes Parents Usually Make and How They Can Fix Them - Part II

By Andrew Loh

Parents are known to make many mistakes while training their children for better discipline. Here are some of those mistakes and how parents can find suitable solutions for them.

Mistake #5 - Failing to follow through

This is perhaps one of the costliest mistakes parents are known to make while teaching their children for discipline. When parents instruct their children to do something, they are known to neglect about what might happen after some time. In other words, parents simply forget or ignore the aftermath of their instruction. For example, let us assume that you instruct your children not to watch TV unless they finish cleaning their study room first. However, you may simply forget what you have told them after some time. You might even succumb to their blackmailing trick and allow them to watch the TV. This could eventually lead to your children taking control of your mind.

Tips to fix the problem

Never ever, be in two minds. Always learn how to follow through. Just check what your children are doing when you are away from them. Always insist on them to finish the assigned duties and responsibilities. Do not reward them unless they finish their work. Inconsistency on part of parents could be counter-productive while hesitating after assigning some tough work could pour cold water on parents' efforts to train children for better discipline.

Mistake #6 - Neglecting children's age and developmental state

Before teaching discipline, you should consider the age and developmental state of the children. It is no use teaching discipline to young children aged lesser than five years as they are not able to understand the basic principles of discipline. What works for these children may not work in case of older children who need proper lessons in discipline. Some parents try to disciple their very young children without knowing the consequence of doing so. However, the best age to discipline children is five years when they are just ready to learn the basics.

Tips to fix the problem

Learn different developmental stages of children. Children always learn through cognition and it can develop only in children who are five years or older. Mental development is directly related to physical age and parents may need to identify the most appropriate age at which their children are ready to learn discipline.

Mistake #7 - Neglecting love and affection while teaching discipline

Some parents may become too practical while training their children for better discipline. In fact, they may simply forget love and affection part of training process. The most important thing that most parents forget is the fact that there should be an affectionate connection before trying to correct children for better discipline. In case, children miss love and affection while they learn, they tend to become dejected and frustrated which could be far more dangerous.

Tips to fix the problem

Parents should acknowledge the importance of love and affection while teaching anything to their children. Add some warmth and affection to every teaching session. Make sure that you lead and guide them with a loving hand. Never ever, hesitate to express it when children ask you for something. Discipline has a human face too and parents may need to understand this aspect.

Mistake #8 - Not identifying the root of the problem

Every act of indiscipline has its genesis in some minor problem. If your children are trying tantrum while getting ready to go to school, they may have a specific problem bothering them. Parents simply fail to detect that children simply hate to take instructions from their parents. In fact, they always want to exercise their power. When parents understand this basic problem, they can easily find some solution to that problem.

Tips to fix the problem

First, try to understand the root of the problem. In some instances, children may simply refuse to do what you say because of some genuine problem. Under such a scenario, you may like to talk to children to understand the nature of the problem. Some children are emotionally weak and they may easily break down if they are bothered with a problem. The obvious thing to do here is to reassure and encourage them to know what is bothering them in their mind.

Like parents and like children! Children are often referred to as mirror images of their parents. A strong parent can easily create a stronger child which is emotionally and mentally stronger and empowered. Such children learn the basics of good discipline within no time. However, parents should act as catalysts of change and they should understand their shortcomings and weaknesses so that they can learn to avoid making common mistakes of parenting.

Featured Resource

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
By Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D

This revised edition of the award-winning 1-2-3 Magic program addresses the difficult task of child discipline with humor, keen insight, and proven experience. The technique offers a foolproof method of disciplining children ages two through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking.

By means of three easy-to-follow steps, parents learn to manage troublesome behavior, encourage good behavior, and strengthen the parent-child relationship - avoiding the "Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit" syndrome which frustrates so many parents. Ten strategies for building a child's self-esteem and the six types of testing and manipulation a parent can expect from the child are discussed, as well as tips on how to prevent homework arguments, make mealtimes more enjoyable, conduct effective family meetings, and encourage children to start doing their household chores.


Featured Resource


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