How to Deal with Defiant Children

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Hi,
What is that parents expect from their children? Is it a high score in the school test or is it a top score in the MENSA test? Parents usually have lot of expectations from their children. They want their children to be very good students, achieve excellence in their classroom studies and get top grades in every test they take. Yes, classroom excellence is a critical factor for your children's success. Parents always want their children to be very successful.

However, succeeding in classroom is not alone enough your children's success. There is much more to success than just grades and scores. Success may mean different things to different people. Life success is probably the most important skill that everyone should try to achieve in their life. Attitude is an important part of life success. Dr. Robyn Silverman, a well-known parenting specialist explains that "People think that the difference between a good life and a bad one is money, luck or fame. But the real difference can be found in one word: attitude." According to her, parents who teach the importance of attitude to their children are more likely to raise socially responsive and successful children. Have a good day.

Thought for today:
"The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right." - Edward Simmons

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Q1: My 6 year old daughter (who has a twin brother) was identified as G&T at school in year R, she is doing very well at reading, writing, Math, Science for her age. However, she has trouble dealing with getting what she wants, changes to plans and making choices. Example - sometimes she cannot decide what to wear and will not accept any suggestions, this can lead to a severe tantrum (almost hysteria) lasting 10 minutes or more. She seems to have low self-esteem, she doesn't think she is clever and sometimes objects when she receives compliments or praise. I would really appreciate some advice on how to help her through this.

A: Gifted children come in many different types and because they are different as it is, their behavior may be a little harder to manage unless we understand them. We live in a culture where being different is considered deviation from the norms and somewhat hard to accept. And, this is very quickly picked by gifted children who have heightened sensitivity. It is obvious that your girl is cognitively advanced and appropriately placed educationally; therefore she is doing well academically. However, she may have other behavioral issues which may be a manifestation of other feelings...Continue to read Dr. Sandhu's answer on Giftedness and Behavioral Concerns here.

Q2: My Son is 28 months old. He has always shown a great interest in well.... everything. He could count to 20 by 2 years old without and provocation. his memory for shapes colors as well as anything and everything he hears or sees is perfect. His vocabulary and sentence structuring is advanced to the point of shocking a health visitor into silence not only as what he says but the inflections he uses ..... But I worry that intellectually he isn't being stimulated enough. What should I be doing to provide this environment for him?

A: Your problem is a very common one faced by most parents of gifted children, especially the younger ones. You son would certainly be at par physically with the other children as he is developing normally there but he is certainly developing much faster cognitively...Continue to read Dr. Sandhu's answer on Physical and Cognitive Development here.

Q3: My son recently had a psychological evaluation done, as he is having behavioral problems at school. He is 10 years old and just finished grade 4. Here are the results of the WISC IV:

The Conner's evaluations showed him as oppositional, but no strong indication of an attention problem. The psychologist interpreted the test results as indicating that my son has a nonverbal learning disability and is verbally gifted....

A: The results generally place him in the high range of ability; and the GAI indicates some sort of a learning problem, hence the lower FSIQ. It appears that your son has highly superior verbal comprehension index (VCI) which measures verbal concept formation. This suggests his high ability to listen to a question, draw upon learned information (both from formal and informal learning) reason through an answer, and express thoughts aloud. He would also probably need more time to process information rather than making spot on decisions. Generally, it predicts readiness for school and achievement orientation rather well ... Continue to read Dr. Sandhu's answer on Discrepancies in the WISC-IV scores here.

Defiant Children, Second Edition: A Clinician's Manual for Assessment and Parent Training
By Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D

This remarkably clear and effective manual includes a thorough clinical guide to Dr. Barkley's 10-session parent training program, an assessment section that incorporates DSM-IV diagnostic criteria, and reproducible materials reinforcing each step of the program.

Designed in a convenient format with lay-flat binding for easy photocopying, the manual includes all needed assessment forms and parent and teacher handouts. Purchasers can photocopy the materials they need as often as they need without additional cost. This updated version of Defiant Children provides clinicians with an excellent resource for treating children with serious behavior problems.

10 Days to a Less Defiant Child: The Breakthrough Program for Overcoming Your Child's Difficult Behavior
By Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D

Occasional clashes between parents and children are not uncommon, but when defiant behavior - such as tantrums, resistance to chores, and negativity - becomes chronic, it can cause big problems within the family.

In 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, child and family psychologist Dr. Jeff Bernstein has developed a ground-breaking 10-day program to help parents gain back control over their defiant child or teen. This powerful and exceptionally reader-friendly guide explains what causes defiance in kids, why it's so destructive to the family, and shows parents step-by-step how they can end the behavior.

Baby education - How to Make a Smart Baby
I Lve Cute Babies Aug 28, 2010

If intelligence is the ability to learn, then babies are born geniuses! While babies' brains have the potential to learn just about anything, parents have an important part to play in determining just how much - and how easily - their baby learns. Here, we discuss the key issues to bear in mind when teaching your baby.

Seven Steps To Enhance Your Child's IQ
Living One India Aug 24, 2010

At this competitive age you can't afford to let your child lag behind in his IQ. Not only food but also a lot of brain workout is needed to enhance his IQ. IQ tests are the best way to work out his brain. By the age 5, parents should start with IQ tests on their child.

The Benefit of Music for Children
Yahoo Lifestyle Aug 25, 2010

A 10-year study by UCLA professor Dr James Catterall tracked 25,000 students and found those involved in music generally scored higher in standardized academic tests than those who had no music involvement.

Emotional High IQ
Times Live Aug 29, 2010

For many years, IQ (intelligence quotient) was seen as the best measure of a person's potential. In more recent years, however, scientists have found that EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) might be a more accurate pointer to success and happiness.

Tips for Back to School: Fueling the Brain for Learning
Shelter Aug 31, 2010

Have you seen that commercial? It drives me nuts. The kids are miserable and the father is skipping down the aisles of a business supply store with a gigantic smile on his face. Do our kids really feel that terrible about going back to school? And do we get that excited about the hectic school year?

Young Children Make More Mistakes Learning New Words than Parents Expect
Child Up Aug 25, 2010

Research carried out by the Kent Child Development Unit at the University of Kent has found that five-year-olds often make mistakes when they are learning new words for actions.

Profile: Child prodigy Alia Sabur at 21
BBC Aug 18, 2010

Speaking and reading from the age of eight months and a university professor at 19, mathematician Alia Sabur made news in the US again this year when the 21-year-old offered BP her idea for stopping the Gulf of Mexico oil leak.

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