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The Secrets to Raising a Smarter Child
- By Inderbir Sandhu, Ph.D


How Not to Overprotect Your Children - Meeting Challenges and Overcoming Obstacles

By Andrew Loh

The fine line between protecting and overprotecting is very thin. Many parents do not know the difference between protecting and overprotecting. What they think and feel is that what they are doing is right for their children. There are many parents who believe in overprotecting is good for them while some parents may not protect their children enough. In fact, both of them are principally wrong. The only way you can protect your children is to approach the issue with caution and find a nice balance between two ends of the spectrum.

The most basic approach that parents can use is to teach children how to become independent. You should also allow your children to do things and tasks all by themselves. They should experience the sad events of failures and sweet moments of success. They should also understand that life is full of both thorns and roses.

They should know the essential difference between success and failure, and they must know that both success and failures are parts of life. Overprotection hinders normal growth among children because it does not allow them to face the truth of life.

There are many techniques and methods that tell you how not to overprotect your children. Before knowing them, you should understand why overprotecting is dangerous to your children and later tune your techniques to suit the temperament of your children.

The mind of a nanny

Are you a parent or a person who believes in the principles of nanny? A nanny approach relies on using overprotective parental techniques when parents go overboard to protect their children. In fact, they try to insulate their children from stark realities of life. Never ever, use a nanny approach to insulate your children from the external world. The first thing that you should remember is to allow your children to become a part of the external world and influences. Guide your children to learn the harsh realities of life.

The power of freedom

The best way to raise children is to give them enough freedom to do what they want. Excessive freedom might be dangerous to some extent. However, controlled freedom is always advantageous to the mental and physical growth of children. Freedom results in independent thinking and acquisition of self-esteem and self-confidence. What your children need from you is just enough freedom to work on a particular task and taste the scent of success or failure. As they develop the character of self-reliance and independence, they will soon develop the confidence to wriggle out of their comfort zone.

Never say never again!

Most parents never allow their children to work on their own. If one of their children wants to ride a bicycle, they will warn him or her not try very hard just because of the likelihood of being injured from a fall! Some parents never allow their young children to walk because of the fear of falling on the floor!

Never say never again! On the contrary, allow them explore the around them and experience the dangers and risks of life around them. Give them a chance to ride a tricycle or bicycle and try the art of moving around without parents' support. They may fall down in the process of learning riding. Just check them so that they do not meet with serious accidents. Let your small child try to walk without fear of falling down. Let them play on the sofa or on the bed with other siblings.

Children should be just like children

Let your children act as some. Do not stifle them by enforcing unnecessary restrictions. Let them experience the fun and excitement of life. Let them play in the mud and soil their cloth. Happy children will always become happy adults. Happiness could become a reality only when children become self-reliant.

Have trust in your children's abilities

You should trust your children's abilities. Try to develop strengths in your children and not weaknesses. They should learn how to be bold in their life. Courage is the result of experiencing the rigors and toughness of life. Allow your children to be a part of normal life. More often, overprotected children live in a make-belief world, where they expect security and comfort for their lives.

Help your children to acquire qualities of self-esteem and self-image

You can encourage self-esteem in your children by letting them find their own perimeters or boundaries. Let them discover the secrets of life and mysteries of success and failure. Let them take part in activities with their friends and peers. This will allow them to acquire confidence and courage to face intricacies of life and the competition that is so common in every sphere of life.

Overprotection feels and looks good in the initial stages of development of your children. However, it could be counterproductive in their adulthood as they may not be able to become the part of normal life. Try to protect your children but never overdo it.

Featured Resource

Creating Survivors: Children Able to Navigate the Ups and Downs of Life with Grace
By Debra Bopp Barnes, Ph.D

Parenthood can be a delight, a blessing, and an experience that will give you many proud moments. Parenthood, on the contrary, can be frustrating, discouraging, and can lead to many tearful and embarrassing moments. This book will teach parents the tools necessary to create children who are survivors. Children who are independent, respectful, responsible, frugal, and resilient.

I know parenting can be a joy, because my three wonderful loving children have given me a lifetime of joy and continue to do so. I also know that parenting can be a struggle and a major stress. Watching parents and children struggle has pushed me to write this book. My oldest son who is raising two beautiful girls said, "Make it short. We don't have time to read all the philosophical stuff."


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