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The Secrets to Raising a Smarter Child
- By Inderbir Sandhu, Ph.D


Developing Your Child's Self-Esteem - Practical Empowering Techniques

By Andrew Loh

Before learning how to empower your children with healthy self-esteem, you may want to learn why your role is extremely important and in what manner you can play a pivotal role in the process. Home is where all children lay foundation to create personal attributes, both positive and negative. You can play the role of a constructor or destructor depending on your approach to parenthood. In fact, you can influence to change your children's belief about themselves in a significant manner. You should try to place your children on a higher pedestal of life to let them where they belong and in what manner they can work to improve self-belief and self-confidence.

Caution: You are the mirror to your children's mind. Children always learn and master about how good they are doing by watching how their parents are reacting to their behavior. Similarly, they also learn about their own self by watching how their parents are acting and behaving. Careless and deviant behavior should be corrected while all instances of good behavior should be complimented and applauded.

General tips

Instill a sense of “I can do it”, “I am capable” and “I am as good anyone else” behavior in your children's mind. Everyone starts their life with a failure be them children learning how to ride a bicycle or wearing a pair of shoes. Keep encouraging your children by encouraging them with the following keywords:

  • You can do it

  • You are as good as anyone else

  • You are capable of getting good grades

  • If you put efforts, you can easily succeed and become successful

  • You are brave and capable of facing difficult situations

Self-esteem starts when your children start taking responsibility for their efforts and dedication. This is perhaps the most difficult part in a parent's life. Teaching responsibility to your children will help them acquire the skills of accomplishing tangible things in life. An accomplishment leads to better and healthy self-esteem. Assign minor tasks that need focus and attention. For example, allow your children to wear their shoes and later tie the laces. Tell them why learning to wear the shoes on their own will help them in life. When your children learn this attitude, they will develop a sense of doing their own work. Initially, they will often fail in their task. However, with continuous effort and parents' help, they will learn the art of wearing their shoes. This simple accomplishment will help them enhance their self-esteem.

Nothing happens without learning something. Learning could be anything. It could occur in children's classroom or their homes. Learning usually leads to acquisition of skills, knowledge and mastery of acquiring a sense of accomplishment. The sense of accomplishment always leads to a feeling that “I can do something” and that “I am capable of doing any work.” Each instance of completion of simple tasks will always lead to self-belief and self-confidence. Self-confidence and self-belief, in combination, is the best catalyst to drive to acquire a healthy self-esteem.

Each instance of successful learning should be succeeded with a compliment or reward. Any failed attempt should be encouraged further for eventual success. Never ever, scold your children or reprimand them. Choose the learning activity and urge your children to complete them. The activity that you choose should be age-appropriate and suitable. Make this activity a fun-filled activity. Let it challenging too. Learning is always incremental and systematic. Let your children learn by doing their work. What they need is your encouragement and help. You may want to give them increasingly complex tasks when they finish simple ones. With each successful attempt, they will master the art of solving problems.

Teaching self-affirmation to your children is the vest method to acquire self-confidence and self-image. Self-affirmation is the great tool to train your mind with positive inputs. Create a self-affirmation script to train your children. For example, the self-affirmation script may include the following:

  • I like, accept and agree with myself

  • I am a truly affable, lovable and valuable person

  • I deserve the best in my life

Tips: The best time to recite the script is the morning before going to school or during the night just before going to bed. Affirmation scripts help your children to imbibe a sense of self-confidence and self-confidence.

Children love to have the security, love and affection of their home and parents. Children should feel that they belong to their home, parents and family. A child who feels at home and secure is the one who could develop self-esteem very quickly. Show that you love your children for what they are irrespective of their abilities, strengths and weaknesses. Tell your children why you love them and give reasons. Reward them for any good work and praise their sincere efforts to perform a task. Listen to your child and share good thoughts once a while. Never ever, ridicule your children if they share ridiculous ideas. Self-esteem is a natural psychological phenomenon that could be enhanced by your children. However, parents should try hard to help their children in acquiring a positive self-esteem.

Featured Resource

Helping Children to Build Self-Esteem: A Photocopiable Activities Book
By Deborah M. Plummer

This second edition of the highly successful "Helping Children to Build Self-Esteem" is packed with fun and effective activities to help children develop and maintain healthy self-esteem. New and updated material has been added including a section on running parent groups alongside children's groups, as well as a brand new layout, fresh illustrations, an expanded theoretical section and extra activities.

Based on the author's extensive clinical experience, this activities book will equip and support teaching staff, therapists and carers in encouraging feelings of competence and self-worth in children and their families. It is primarily designed for use with individuals and groups of children aged 7-11, but the ideas can easily be adapted for both older and younger children and children with learning difficulties. This fully photocopiable resource is invaluable for anyone looking for creative, practical ways of nurturing self-esteem in children.


Featured Resource


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