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The Secrets to Raising a Smarter Child
- By Inderbir Sandhu, Ph.D


Develop Your Child's Emotional Intelligence (EQ) - Simple Methods and Practical Techniques

By Andrew Loh

Teaching emotional intelligence skills is an arduous task, because of the complexities involved with it. It means that the parents will be dealing with many issues that relate to their brains. Emotions are natural responses to something that comes as triggers. The basic techniques that every parent needs to follow are to tackle those triggers and avoid them in the first place. The techniques involved here deal with managing children's inner strengths and weaknesses. Here are some of the simple techniques and methods that can help you streamline children's emotional makeup:

Ensure that you take care of your children's emotional requirements. If you want your children to be emotionally stable, you will need to show concerns for their own emotional needs. When children feel that their parents are showing adequate emotional support, then they will slowly start altering their own behavior.

Negative emotions are very dangerous for humans, if they do not treat them in the way they should be. Negative emotions can kill one's personality. It is so true in children too. As a concerned parent, you will need to tell your children in what manner they can avoid getting negative feelings. Tell them how negative emotions can harm their personality and behavior.

One of the best ways to train your children in the art of emotional intelligence is to ask them questions about their well-being. Make it a regular habit to ask these questions almost every day. A majority of children respond to such questions with utmost keenness. They also turn towards someone, who displays some kind of empathy towards them. The best question that you can ask your children is very simple too - “how do you feel today?” Your children should understand that all other children are similar to them and there is no point in hurting them. You may need to explain why emotionally bad behavior can hurt other children. Try saying something like, “how do you react when other children take your book away?” or “how do you feel when someone ridicule you?

Tagging the feeling with an appropriate name will help your children stabilize their emotions in a significant manner. You should help them assign a name to their emotions in a proper manner. For example, if your children are angry, you should tell them that they are getting angry and that the behavior they are expressing will lead to many problems. Your children should know about other tag words as well. For example, anger, frustration, sadness, violent, happiness, satisfaction and other similar words signify different types of emotions.

Learning how to identify between positive and negative behaviors is a great way to stabilize emotions in children. Your children should know how to identify a positive behavior from a negative one.

How can you assist your children raise their Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Very young children are very difficult to handle and manage, because of their brain development that is yet to kick off in full throttle. However, consistent training will help your children stabilize their emotions to some extent. Here are some simple ways:

  • Express your feelings in a verbal manner. You can use number words that relate to different feelings. Some of them are “I am feeling angry”, “I am very happy now”, “I am so encouraged”, “I am so much inspired”, and “ I feel so happy that you topped your class”.

  • Attach labels to their feelings. Children will not know how to label their emotions. They may not know how to recognize good from the bad, and bad from the worse. You may need to help them identify and label their emotions. Some keywords are “You are getting angry now. Control it”, “It is not good to feel frustrated. I know that you will get your good grades in the next test” and “You are feeling so happy now. I feel the same way”.

  • Tell them how they can label other peoples' feelings. Some important keywords are “Look! How that child is feeling. He seems to be very happy”, “Look at your dad, See how he is feeling excited” and “Don't look at that movie scene now. That male actor is behaving so badly”.

One of the well-recognized facts about emotional intelligence is, how creating a safe and emotionally-conducive environment in your home, will help everyone feel happy and secure. Never ever, shout at anyone in your house.

As the child grows into adulthood, you will also need to explain about the following things:

  • Anger is bad and it is a secondary emotion that can ruin one's life.

  • Why depression is bad for them?

  • Why negative emotions are very dangerous for children?

  • How your children can convert bad emotions into good ones.

  • How speaking softly will help them make friendship with lot of people

Emotions are necessary for everyone including your children. However, bad emotions can be very dangerous too. Your children should know and understand these facts, so that they can become emotionally-stable children with a sound and confident mind.

Featured Resource

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
By Daniel Goleman, Ph.D

The Western cultures esteem analytical skills measured by IQ tests: but there is clearly more to success and happiness, even in technological societies, than IQ alone. Goleman has written one of the best books on the nature and importance of other kinds of intelligence besides our perhaps overly beloved IQ.

New York Times science writer Goleman argues that our emotions play a much greater role in thought, decision making and individual success than is commonly acknowledged. He defines "emotional intelligence" a trait not measured by IQ tests as a set of skills, including control of one's impulses, self-motivation, empathy and social competence in interpersonal relationships. Goleman also looks at pilot programs in schools from New York City to Oakland, Calif., where kids are taught conflict resolution, impulse control and social skills.


Featured Resource


Child Development

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