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The Secrets to Raising a Smarter Child
- By Inderbir Sandhu, Ph.D


Memories Not Made: Spending More Time With Your Children

By John Dorwart

You are busy. I know. Working all of the time to "provide" for your family. Trying to "make ends meet" and acquiring all of that stuff you want. Just keep in mind what you may be giving up in the process…the precious memories you fail to create with your children.

You see, as you grow older you begin to place less emphasis on acquiring and more on reflection where you begin to truly take notice of all of your accomplishments as well as painful regrets.

Now take a minute and put yourself into the future when it becomes this time of reflection. Imagine you in a time where your children have grown into respectable adults raising families of their own. Imagine the all the time that has passed of your children's lives that you will never have a single chance to see again.

As you imagine yourself into this position, begin to think all of the stuff you "have" acquired. You know the big house and the big screen TV, fancy cars, elaborate vacations, etc. Take notice of all the feelings this stuff gives you. Think about all of that stuff but without a single memory of your children. How would you feel? Would you feel as if you had regrets of NOT creating memories of your children? Wouldn't these regrets be a bit painful to have knowing there is nothing you can do to change the past?

Now imagine yourself without all of that that stuff. Just thinking of memories of your children in their early years and that is all. Think of all of the simple things that moved you emotionally and the time spent with them. Take notice of all the feelings these beautiful memories give you. Look at their faces, their smiles, and their actions as you see them growing through the years. How much stronger are your feelings now? Would you feel any regrets NOT having stuff? Wouldn't these regrets seem rather insignificant compared those warm memories you have made?

By imagining yourself in the future reflecting on life you can get a glimpse of what really matters most. I am not saying it is "evil" to acquire possessions, rather I am saying to get too caught up into it that you lose sight of some of the things that are more important in life…memories. These memories are yours to keep and will fulfill your life now and into the future more than any possession can. Think about all that stuff you acquired that ended up in the trash or you no longer use? More than likely if you think about that stuff now you will realize that the emotional impact they once created no longer has the same effect. A memory of your child has just as much impact as it did when the memory was created. And it LASTS through your life as you look back upon them from time to time.

Remember also that the memories you create with your children are their memories also. They get to carry them through life. They get to reflect upon those times with you or the lack of. They will use them as references throughout their lives in which the will base their future actions upon. Keep this in mind as you consider making changes in your lifestyle to spend more emphasis creating memories and less on acquiring temporary stuff.

What I am saying is…

Sometimes you need to evaluate your position in life. Many times we spend so much time in needless acquiring that we tend to overdo it. Spending our money and dragging ourselves into needless debt to where we are FORCING ourselves to make "ends meet." Keeping ourselves at our jobs late sacrificing the little time we do have here on earth for the things things that end up being less important. Yes, you do have to provide for your family. But when you have yourself financially extended because of needless spending you may be ultimately sacrificing the most important thing in your life as well as your children's lives…memories.


John Dorwart is the president and co-founder of the ever popular Jorbins Lifestyle Magazine: -- At Jorbins we have a special section filled with articles that will definitely help you with parenting and raising children. It's all free to read so check it out at:

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