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The Secrets to Raising a Smarter Child
- By Inderbir Sandhu, Ph.D


Raising Self-Reliance Children: Tips and Suggestions

When a kid leads a self-reliant life, he or she is able to think and act for himself and for his own good. With the positive quality of self-reliance, he or she can also trust his or her own sense of judgment and later introspect on various aspects of life. The kid, who has an enhanced degree of self-reliance, will not only be more active, independent, but also very keen in learning new things and apply them in daily life. An extremely reliant child will have all the necessary skills and resources to cope with any extreme situations and deal with them with his or her own sense of judgment and problem solving skills.

As a parent, you have a tremendous task or a big responsibility to balance your act together and proceed with a keen sense of logic. One of the biggest mistakes that a parent does is, not providing the kid the required freedom and choice to perform simple duties and work. When you constrict or stifle your kidís freedom, he or she may start to over-depend on you for everything, and get scared to make any sensible decisions in the future. This will eventually end in a loss of confidence and self-belief. On the flipside, if you provide too much freedom, your child may develop the tendency of becoming insecure about his or her own abilities.

The first tip to make your kid self reliant is to start building it when he or she is still young. There a number of things that your small kid can do with his or her own effort; ensure that you are allowing and encouraging doing the things on own. Before she turned three, my young daughter would often take her dish bowl away and exclaim ďI can do it- Donít come near meĒ. This is probably the most critical juncture for both you and your kid. This is also the time for you to respect his or her independence and allow him or her to do the thing in their way. This single significant action will propel your kid to develop more confidence and learn advance tasks and things in the later life.

Some kids may need more time to develop the positive quality of self-reliance and self-initiative; this is quite normal as kids tend differ in their ability to develop such qualities. As a parent, you may need to encourage your kid to develop the quality of self-reliance by allowing him to perform easy to achieve tasks and assignments.

The first important thing that all parents must try to emulate is to show their kids that being responsible can yield very positive results. As the first essential step, teach your kid the importance of being responsible, and how this character can help them achieve better things in life. Assign them most ordinary duties like cleaning, washing and arranging things. Once they realize that they can do things on their own and without the help of their parents, they get energized to try more complex tasks and achieve them with considerable ease. You may also need to hold your kid responsible and accountable for the assigned tasks.

Another tip to make your kids self reliant is to provide them meaningful choices. When your kid is young, allow him or her to choose those things that they are good at. Never ever, force your kid to do some things that he or she is reluctant to perform or carry out. Another interesting and meaningful thing is to teach your kid the role of setting goals to achieve things in life. Ensure that your kid is achieving his or her own goals and not yours! Encourage and teach the methods to achieve goals in a simple manner.

Trial and error method is the best method to learn a task. When your kid is doing certain things, he or she is bound to fail in the first few attempts. Never pester your child with a flow of instructions about how to do things right. Allow your kid to do in his or her own way; if he or she fails consistently, teach the right method to perform the task. Your kid will feel excited and top of the world soon after completing a task in a successful manner.

Another critical aspect that parents must consider while making their kids self-reliant is to allow them to think independently and on their own. Let them find solutions on their own. If they fail in their attempts lead them to the right answers. Once they find the right solutions for a given problem, praise them for their success and achievement. All of us want our kids to perform and achieve better in their lives, and one surefire way to help them on the path is to let them know the importance of being self-reliant.


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