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The Secrets to Raising a Smarter Child
- By Inderbir Sandhu, Ph.D


Negative Consequences of Helicopter Parenting and Ways to Avoid them

By Andrew Loh

Helicopter parenting, by all means, signifies a negative type of parenting where the children in question might lose their personal identity altogether. Several negative consequences surround this parenting style and some of them are given below:

Low self-esteem and confidence

Helicopter parenting usually backfires on both children and their parents. In fact, it can destroy the basic concept of family culture. Parents, with their parenting style, send an invisible and indirect signal saying that “look child, I may not believe you and I will help you in my own way.” Over insistence on controlling a child's mind will eventually result in the development of low esteem and confidence.

Failure to manage with crisis and emergencies

Children, who are managed under a helicopter parenting style, are more likely to under develop coping skills that are so much required to manage emergencies, anger, frustration, disappointment, failure and crisis. If parents keep managing their children's affairs, how do they expect them to become independent and self-sufficient? Previous studies show us that children who are nurtured under helicopter parenting style are more likely to face serious problems in life.

Enhanced anxiety and panic state

The results of helicopter parenting could be the development of over anxiety, fear, panic syndrome, and depression and isolation tendencies. Just because children were raised under a strict regime of controls, they are made to suffer unnecessarily in a number of ways.

A deep sense of entitlement and rebel tendencies

Helicopter parented children are more likely to develop a sense of entitlement that leads to having their own way of leading a protected life. They might even develop a tendency to become rebels against their own parents.

Lack of life skills

Lack of life skills is possibly the most damaging result of over parenting. Life skills are far more important and critical than academic skills. Parents who do all the work for their children may snatch away a child's ability to develop life skills.

Ways to avoid helicopter parenting

The simplest way to avoid helicopter parenting is to avoid it altogether! However, it is easier said than done. Since, this style of parenting comes to parents almost in an invisible manner the best way to handle it is to know different consequences that might prove dangerous to children. Here are some simple tips to avoid the tendency to be a helicopter parent:

Tip #1: Get rid of ideas to become a helicopter parent! First, know why this idea is bad altogether. Consult experts if you want to. Read books and magazines on the subject and try to understand overall implications.

Tip #2: Believe in your children and allow them sufficient time and freedom to learn by themselves. Start trusting children's ability to perform and learn on their own and with their efforts. Help and guide them while they are learning basics of life.

Tip #3: If you find any school related problem, never rush to school every day to complain to school teachers. Let them do their work and help out children. If needed, sit down with teachers and consult how you can improve children's classroom performance.

Tip #4: Understand children's strength and weakness, and start working on them. Concentrate on the latter more to bring children on par with the normal ones. Remember that parenting is a two way act – one to give love and affection, and the other to help them responsible citizens in the future. Be strict while teaching discipline and mannerism while show human side while showering love and affection. Know the balance between these two aspects.

Tip #5:Helicopter parenting means a negative mindset that is often regressive. Make sure that you are keeping away all of your prejudices and bias while raising children. Drive the past way and your previous bitter experiences. Live for the day and help your children live for tomorrow.

Tip #6: Never interfere to step on the toes of children especially when they take some decisions on their own. Leave children to themselves and let them sort out all pending issues among them. Guide them only when necessary.

Yes, everyone knows that parenting is not too easy especially when parents have two or more children. The basic responsibility of every parent lies in the fact that parenting should be performed based on the immediate necessity and not on something that is based on preconceived ideas and expectations. After all, parenting is a wonderful act that relies on an emotional and rational partnership between parents, children and other family members. Everyone is an equal shareholder and vital partner.

Featured Resource

The Overparenting Epidemic: Why Helicopter Parenting Is Bad for Your Kids . . . and Dangerous for You, Too!
By George Glass, MD and David Tabatsky

Whatever we label it, overparenting - anxious, invasive, overly attentive, and competitive parenting - may have finally backfired. As we witness the first generation of over parented children becoming adults in their own right, many studies show that when baby boomer parents intervene inappropriately - with too much advice, excessive favors, and erasing obstacles that kids should negotiate themselves - their “millennial” children end up ill-behaved, anxious, narcissistic, entitled youths unable to cope with everyday life.

Written by a noted psychiatrist and a parenting specialist, The Over parenting Epidemic is a science-based yet humorous and practical book that features an easy-to-read menu of pragmatic, reasonable advice for how to parent children effectively and lovingly without overdoing it, especially in the context of today's demanding world.


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